Site Content

As a divorced dad with 50/50 custody, cramming work into limited time was overwhelming. This guide shares strategies like calendar blocking for family, communicating constraints at work, prioritizing quality time over quantity, multitasking at work but being present with kids, delegating, and asking for help to find the critical balance between career and solo parenting.

The biggest challenge is that with the kids living with me 50% of the time, I had to cram all my work tasks into only portions of the week. I had them every other week and changing on Sunday nights. That meant longer hours and trying to play catch up after taking off for my parenting duties. I used to overschedule myself by taking on too much work without factoring in the flexibility needed for family matters. This led me to feel overwhelmed, stressed, and regretful that I didn’t have more quality time with my children.

I’ve learned that being realistic about what can be achieved prevents that resentment. Though my workload was heavy, I blocked off kid time on my calendar as rigorously as I would an appointment. I communicated more openly with the office staff about my situation at home so last-minute child issues didn't derail the work schedule unexpectedly.

Little wins like rearranging my workload to be home for my daughter’s soccer games, or saving dental emergencies for after I’ve helped all three kids with homework made me feel I was better aligning both priorities. Yes, I sacrificed personal time for myself because being available for three teenagers as the only parent is non-negotiable. However, focusing on time utilization and not just volume has made me present in the moments I’m with family. I had to become adept at workplace multitasking but switching gears to be fully immersed when I’m involved in my kids’ lives directly. 

Getting the kids to sports practices was the biggest challenge. When my oldest started driving - that was a godsend!

Making this mental shift towards quality over quantity time spent had reduced feelings of stress and inadequacy on both fronts. Learning to compromise by delegating and asking for help also allowed me to find more balance. As a divorced dad juggling career and family life solo, that singular focus made me a better father and leader because I was striving towards self-care while still handling all of my responsibilities. My situation was maybe common, but consciously working each day on that balance made all the difference for both my work and my loved ones. Now they are grown and gone leading productive lives. So, I guess, it was worth it on all fronts.